literature

Schizophilia

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poisoned-poet's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

A wintry bloom
The black rose's embrace
Tragedy taints the air
Crimson stains the grey

Fangs sink into supple flesh
With poison so very sweet
The world shatters like glass
Before eyes blackened by deceit

A bitter caress
Ripping, amorous claws
Sensuality fails
The soul's too frigid and raw

Rime-glazed eyes
Total oblivion
The dream unraveled
Threads of corruption

Within the mirror
Choked by mist
Becoming clearer
An ever-growing cyst
What is this...I don't even... Am I going mad?

Take this however you like though... Yet another mirror poem...
Comments8
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Chezzy-Am's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star: Impact

Schizophilia is very well handled.

I like the way you've kept your idea flowing and, alongside it, slowly built your rhythm. Even though I feel that its short in the end, but I like it - its very gruelling, its consuming, its a short piece that defines what a disease this is.

And a haunting disease as well - I found myself with vivid imagery that was very stark and bleak. It lives up to its name - and by-the-by, does a lot more in the process.

It leaves the reader wondering how one can survive with this disease. Well done, keep writing.